The Shower Sagas

As an only child I drove my parents crazy when it came to bath time.  I loved water.  Single handed I could use every ounce of hot water in my home for every bath or shower.  Annoying and expensive but I was always clean as an end result.  Those people I gave birth to are not like me.  They are not like my darling husband who loves to be clean also.  They are a world unto themselves. 

This summer DH and I began an exercise and diet program in order to lose a little weight that had crept up on us as happens with busy lives and middle age.  With the addition of scouting and the need for PE for the Eldest I have added the children into that exercise program as often as possible.  With the Eldest that includes daily walks or bike rides.  With the short ones they get the occasional bike ride after school along with the Eldest and Number 4.  Number 4 is with my boys so much he has lost his name and is openly referred to as our fourth son.  He keeps my boys busy and my boys keep him busy.  Truly a win-win for moms! 

This week I took the boys hiking in a local forest two times to work on our health and scouting skills.  Saturday they walked 3.3 miles in hilly terrain. They did great!  They all climbed up a gully over dirt, tree leaves and using the roots of a tree to pull themselves up as their less nimble and lazy loving parents watched and encouraged from above and below.  A great afternoon was had by all. Good healthy exercise all wrapped up in nature and fun.  

That night the short people showered and the Eldest was scheduled for his shower the next morning.  Splitting up the schedule makes for less drama in the evenings.  Or so I tell myself.  The Eldest missed his volunteer work at the church yesterday morning because he did not get to the shower in time.  Even though I had time to eat breakfast, shower, dress for church and apply warpaint and blow dry my hair in that same amount of time.  Really kid?  So off to class I went feeling particularlly hostile for a Sunday morning of teaching about God's love.  One of the twins had a scouting workshop at the church in the afternoon so his alter ego played in the woods behind our home with the Eldest and Number 4 all afternoon and evening.  As I cooked dinner the short people were sent off to the showers.  Now if any of you are Cosby fans you know the next line.  "There is going to be a beating tonight."  Well no beating but a tongue lashing and two weeks of grounding.

Twin B showered and came down smelling fresh and clean for dinner.  Sir Stinky Twin A chose an alternate path.  He came to the table in fresh pajamas, dry hair ( a cool trick for someone with no blow dryer) and grass in his hair.  Yeah, dry, grassy hair.  I had already noticed in Church that his hair was not clean but had chalked it up to not doing a good job the night before.  Nope, he has a new trick.  Sitting in the bathroom as the shower runs for 20-30 minutes!!  Really??  Busted!!  So now he gets supervised visitation with the soap and water for a while, two weeks of housebound time with absolutely no electronics of any kind, all over lying to us about a shower.  Because parents never notice when active boys smell like dead goats!

I would love to say this is the first time we have had shower sagas but getting clean seems be a recurring issue in my house.  Usually it is the hair not washed or rinsed enough.  Because even though all three boys love the swimming pool and can put their face in pool water, shower water is evidently dangerous to male faces and heads. Somehow I think my neighbor down the street who has three girls is not going to have these issues.  Of course she may never have hot water again when they become teenagers.  Kids.  We love them but they will make us insane before it is over.